🎵 How To Read A Room To Play Music That Resonates

Wedding guests will give you clues as to music they like and don't like. Have the superpower of reading the room.

The superpower of “reading the room” will take a wedding reception from OK to unforgettable. It is the ability to see how guests are reacting to the music played and make adjustments accordingly.

I know that this goes without saying but I am amazed at weddings I have attended when the DJ leaves behind the booth and the music plays for an extended time without mixing tracks. (Going to the bathroom is excused)

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Leaving music playing unattended is a red flag that the DJ does not have the best interests of the wedding couple and guests in mind. The DJ does not see how guests are reacting to songs to make immediate adjustments to the playlist and also necessary adjustments to the playlist for the remainder of the event.

Another topic about what DJs play is to play for the crowd and not for yourself. Just because you like specific songs does not mean that the song will resonate with every crowd. I love the song “Little Bitty” by Alan Jackson to play as guests arrive at the reception. However, it doesn’t mean that all wedding guests like country music and will relate to it. What we think is good music is negligible.

Song remixes are another preference to be discussed and tested. Depending on the couple’s music tastes and how guests are responding, they may not want remixes of songs. They also may not want shortened versions of songs and quick mixing. Have a talk with couples before the wedding about their preferences and what they think guests would like best. The reverse could also be the case. The couple and guests may expect a club vibe. Play what the crowd wants to hear - and will dance to when it’s time!

'If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” - Benjamin Franklin

Be Prepared

Having a successful wedding starts with getting a playlist of must-play songs and songs to skip from the wedding couple. Why? There are more than 100 million songs on Spotify. Approximately 37.5 million songs have more than 1,000 streams. (source).

In the past decade, there has been a mass exit from single sources of music discoverability - Radio, Music Videos, Music Charts, artists’ websites, etc. Music lovers are discovering music on streaming services that offer AI music discoverability features. Thus, music listeners are listening to a much wider variety of musicians within a specific genre than ever before in history.

Even more so, there has been an explosion of music subgenres with fans. Musicians and songs are no longer pigeonholed into single top-level music categories like Rock, Country, Hip Hop, Pop, Jazz, R&B, Latin, Reggae, Classical, etc.

Thus, a DJ must prepare a playlist to match the music styles wedding couples and their guests favor. See my article about music knowledge for more details.

How To Read A Room

Guest Demographics

The median average age for men to first get married is 30.2 years in 2023, while for women is 28.4 years. (source)

3 generations at a reception must be entertained.

1. The wedding couple and their friends

2. The wedding couple’s parents and their friends

   1. They were in high school in the 1990s and 2000s.

3. The couple’s grandparents and their friends

   1. They were in high school in the 1970s and 1980s.

Remember, kids grew up commonly listening to the music their parents liked and played. This is why so many weddings of 2024 are seeing popularity in the 1990s and early 2000s music at weddings that are getting everyone dancing.

I also want to mention race, nationality, and ethnicity. It is VERY important to have every guest feel like they are part of the event and represented through the music. Whether music and artists are Arabic, Bollywood, K-Pop, Mexican, male, female, etc. Everyone in attendance should feel like they belong.

Feel The Crowd

What comes to mind if I say “a DJ must interact with the crowd”?

• Being on the microphone and talking with guests

• Being on the dance floor and dancing with guests

• Orchestrating interactive games

Yes, it could be all of those things. However, I want to focus on:

• Feeling the crowd to maintain a desired vibe or outcome

Feeling the crowd begins when guests arrive at the reception. The DJ already has a guide as to music to play from the couple’s recommendations. Now it is the time to see how guests react.

Optimal desired reactions to music playing:

• Smiling

• Heads bobbing to the beat

• Standing guests grooving to the beat

• Sitting guests tapping their toes to the beat

• Getting thumbs up

If you are seeing positive reactions to specific eras and genres, this will give you clues as to the styles of music and eras to play that will most likely go over during the dancing portion of the reception.

Another clue as to what guests like is to take requests. Get an idea of the style of music they like. Even if a song is not danceable, the time to play it is during the cocktail hour and dinner to ascertain how guests react to that style.

Watch and see when different cultural backgrounds are at the reception. You may need to cater your songs for multicultural music. In addition, this could be noticed by varying music fans who prefer country music, rock music, electronic music, etc.

Reading the crowd will help you formulate the styles of music and genres that will potentially get guests off of their butts and onto the dance floor.

Dance Floor Energy

If guests leave the dance floor, what is the reason?

• Are guests tired from dancing and it’s time for a slow song?

• Did the DJ mix a song in at a point that guests couldn’t connect with the song?

• Did the song not simply resonate with guests?

• Did the guests not associate with the genre or era of music?

• Did guests not connect with the song itself - tempo, unrecognizable remix, lost energy?

There is a big difference when a crowd sings their heart out to a song while pumping their fists in the air to the beat -and- just dancing to dance because the wedding couple is on the dance floor.

During the dancing portion of the reception, read the energy of the room and what music gets guests excited. Play tracks according to their reactions. Keep in mind how guests reacted to music already played too.

Watch the crowd. Are you building energy? Not only on the dance floor, the same goes for the moments leading up to the couple’s grand entrance into the reception. The anticipation and vibe should build as songs progress before the entrance.

Unexpected Surprises

Unexpected song surprises (at the right moment) are one of the differences between a good DJ and a great DJ.

We all know the party hits played through the past decades and even the popular hits of today. The challenge becomes to take an occasional chance on a song not played at every wedding or on the couple’s must playlist.

Watching the crowd will help you determine what that unexpected song is. As an example, if the crowd is enjoying themselves and dancing to girl anthems of the 2000s like “Party In The U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus, “Love Story” by Taylor Swift, and “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani. These songs are played at many weddings.

What song would be your unexpected twist to make everyone go crazy?

• “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield

• “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado

• “Buttons” by The Pussycat Dolls

• “Jumpin’, Jumpin’” by Destiny’s Child

• “One, Two Step” by Ciara

• “Not Tonight” by Lil’ Kim

• Let me know in the comments.

The direction/songs will be determined from reading the room throughout the event.

In conclusion, be physically and mentally prepared for each wedding’s unique playlist. From the ages of guests for getting an idea of eras to play, reading the room to know favorable music styles, the energy of the dance floor, and unexpected party hits, you will be able to have an outrageously successful wedding.

Remember, reading the room is an ongoing process. Continuously observe, adapt, and interact with the crowd to create a truly epic wedding reception that everyone will remember!

The Wedding MusicLetter is a reader-supported guide to wedding music, industry insights & meetups. Both free and paid subscriptions are available. If you want to support my work, the best way is by taking out a paid subscription.

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Cheers!

Matthew Campbell, founder of My Wedding Songs

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